Headache levels reaching nausea territory. Time to stop staring at a screen.
I don’t think people realise how hard it is to re-discover the person you were before depression or even try to remember your own personality
and if you’ve had depression since early childhood you don’t even know if you have your own personality
you didn’t have time to be a person before depression
and it’s scary having no idea who you are
As someone who was obviously depressed from about 15 til 31 (and still am, but dealing with it), you remember things, you incorporate things that came into your life in the intervening years, but not one day goes by where you don’t think “You know, I really fucked up a huge portion of my life.”
Which, of course, might be depression talking, or it might be the truth, and you’ll never know.
“I always wanted to dress a certain way when I was younger, but I never had the courage to do it. Now that I’m older, I wear whatever I want. People always say, ‘Oh, I can’t wear something because I can’t pull it off.’ But I think that if you’re happy and comfortable wearing something, then you can pull it off. You might look back one day and think, ‘I can’t believe I thought that was a good fashion idea’ but everyone should be free to experiment with how they look.
“This applies to everything: life itself is a never-ending trial period of experimentation and figuring out what works. My mom’s tried all sorts of things for a career: she went to school here to study piano and she works at a bank now, but she’s thinking of buying a farm and raising animals.”